MREs Are Getting Better All the Time

by Chris Vegvary

How much do people like food? The answer is a lot, because food is what drives us, and when you think about it, food tastes pretty good. When a soldier takes food into the field, however, they can’t take something really good, like maybe a turducken or a nice, fat ribbi steak. That makes me kind of sad, how about you? But fear not, because it might be ok soon. Apparently, scientists are working on better types of MREs for everyone to enjoy.

What would be your first choice of a really good MRE? If it’s pizza, then you might be in luck, because those scientists seem to have found a way to make a pizza that can stay sitting on a shelf or something for three years and you can still eat it. Not only that, but it tastes decent, too. How has it come to this? Because it was demanded, that’s why. People want to have good food while they’re out protecting us and whatnot, and to them, I say…ok, why not? In fact, sure, let’s do it.

That makes me wonder if there are ways to get even more types of crazy food choices into an MRE that lasts for three years. Check it: do they already have chocolate cake MREs? If not, let’s get some of those going on. Oreos and milk somehow. Or how about some way to get corned beef, or a hamburger, or how about some bacon? With all the advances in technology, and the fact that we’re pretty much in the future, and the fact that everything is infused with bacon now, is there not some way our top and most brilliant scientists can get on top of finding a way for bacon to have a shelf life of somewhere around three to five years? Something like that? Yes, bacon is that important.

Ok, so that might be asking a little too much right now, but the point is that the smart, sciency people are out there trying to find ways to bring our military folks some different and better types of food in the form of an MRE. I can honestly say that if I were to go camping, I would probably want one of those pizza MREs they’re working on. I find food to be very taste-ifying. So with all this in mind, I submit to all of you that you should go out there, get some serious education going on, get your degree in food sciences, get a respectable job creating new and crazy foods, and make the best MREs the world has ever seen. You’ll have my respect, and probably a few of my dollars as well. Only time’s going to tell on this one.

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