MREs Are Getting Better All the Time

by Chris Vegvary

How much do people like food? The answer is a lot, because food is what drives us, and when you think about it, food tastes pretty good. When a soldier takes food into the field, however, they can’t take something really good, like maybe a turducken or a nice, fat ribbi steak. That makes me kind of sad, how about you? But fear not, because it might be ok soon. Apparently, scientists are working on better types of MREs for everyone to enjoy.

What would be your first choice of a really good MRE? If it’s pizza, then you might be in luck, because those scientists seem to have found a way to make a pizza that can stay sitting on a shelf or something for three years and you can still eat it. Not only that, but it tastes decent, too. How has it come to this? Because it was demanded, that’s why. People want to have good food while they’re out protecting us and whatnot, and to them, I say…ok, why not? In fact, sure, let’s do it.

That makes me wonder if there are ways to get even more types of crazy food choices into an MRE that lasts for three years. Check it: do they already have chocolate cake MREs? If not, let’s get some of those going on. Oreos and milk somehow. Or how about some way to get corned beef, or a hamburger, or how about some bacon? With all the advances in technology, and the fact that we’re pretty much in the future, and the fact that everything is infused with bacon now, is there not some way our top and most brilliant scientists can get on top of finding a way for bacon to have a shelf life of somewhere around three to five years? Something like that? Yes, bacon is that important.

Ok, so that might be asking a little too much right now, but the point is that the smart, sciency people are out there trying to find ways to bring our military folks some different and better types of food in the form of an MRE. I can honestly say that if I were to go camping, I would probably want one of those pizza MREs they’re working on. I find food to be very taste-ifying. So with all this in mind, I submit to all of you that you should go out there, get some serious education going on, get your degree in food sciences, get a respectable job creating new and crazy foods, and make the best MREs the world has ever seen. You’ll have my respect, and probably a few of my dollars as well. Only time’s going to tell on this one.

Survival Items: What You Might Need – Part 3

by Chris Vegvary

What kind of survivalist are you? Do you think that the supposedly pending apocalypse will come from nuclear devastation of some kind, or do you believe it might start with a zombie attack? Whatever you believe in terms of how it’s all going to end, you’re going to need the gear to help you survive the aftermath. There are many items to consider, and in this article, we’ll consider a survival situation and what you might need in that instance.

A hole has opened up in the earth, and strange, Lovecraft-ian monsters are pouring out from another dimension. Think In the Mouth of Madness, or Stephen King’s The Mist. Chances of survival in a situation like that may not be very high, but there are ways to increase your odds. For instance, here you can find a Camper’s Sure Pak, which comes with twelve meals and a flameless ration heater so you can stay warm. Be sure to stock up on rations, because without food, you’re going to have to go out in search of some, and you risk being attacked by giant tentacled creatures or other desperate survivors.

You may run out of electricity fairly quickly, especially if these monsters are smart and disable power grids and such. It’s a possibility we can’t rule out, and we have to be as prepared as we can be. Luckily, there’s such a thing as a wind-up flashlight that might just come in handy for this type of situation. It can provide eight minutes of light per charge, but again, stock up on these, because if you break one…well, you’re probably not going to want to let it get broken. Running past creatures in the dark is not fun.

Let’s say you don’t have a flashlight that works, not even a wind-up one. You need to see what’s going on out there in the dark, maybe you even need to see something that’s a good distance away, but you’ve got no way to see anything without a flashlight, right? Wrong. While you could simply go out there without a source of light and just hope for the best, it’s not recommended, because you may get torn apart or eaten (or both). Stay low and stay hidden, and pull out your night-vision binoculars to get the view you need without exposing your position to the beasts.

This may not be a likely scenario, but you can’t really discount anything when it comes to the end of the world. We know that if it happens, it’s going to be devastating, but hopefully I’ve imparted even the slightest bit of wisdom to anyone who will listen, regardless of whether any of this stuff comes to pass or not. Don’t thank me…I feel like it’s my job to help.

Survival Items: What You Might Need – Part 2

by Chris Vegvary

What kind of survivalist are you? Do you think that the supposedly pending apocalypse will come from nuclear devastation of some kind, or do you believe it might start with a zombie attack? Whatever you believe in terms of how it’s all going to end, you’re going to need the gear to help you survive the aftermath. There are many items to consider, and in this article, we’ll consider a survival situation and what you might need in that instance.

This time, the world has been devastated by an EMP attack. That’s electro-magnetic pulse, for you non-techies out there. All forms of communication, every electronic device, and most, if not all vehicles, have been disabled. What’s a person to do? Not wallow in self-pity, that’s for sure. Let’s consider some food first. Your fridge won’t work anymore, so all the food in there is spoiled. Luckily, you have some emergency food rations that have a five-year shelf life. These should provide you with enough nutrients and other important such and such to keep you moving during the day and resting at night, or vice-versa, depending on the situation.

Next up, you may want to find a way to stay warm. You know that when there’s no power, there’s no air conditioning for hot days and there’s no heat during the winter. How are you going to stay warm? You could pile on plenty of layers of clothing, but that may not be enough sometimes, and you’re going to want to consider starting a nice fire to stay warm by. This Zippo doubles as a lighter and a hand warmer, which can provide up to 12 hours of warmth with one filling. Just make sure you’re stocked up on lighter fluid, because that might be hard to come by once the looting begins (and it will).

Let’s also pretend for a second that you’re not as interested in survival after the apocalypse as you are concerned about being clean. With no running water, there’s not going to be any showers or any hose water for you to wash up with, so you may be relying on toilet water. That doesn’t sound too pleasant, does it? It doesn’t. It might behoove you to stock up on certain items that can keep you clean, because you’re just not too likely to find any working baths, so maybe stockpile a bunch of these “shower in a towel” items.

These few items are just the tip of the iceberg, but if you read this today and the apocalypse happens tomorrow, hopefully you will have gained some small amount of knowledge and use what you’ve learned to keep you alive until the next apocalypse. It could be fun…but it won’t be.